tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38436312011-04-21T22:01:56.522-07:00Rabid SquirrelRzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!!!Salmon Pinkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01065492956622280854noreply@blogger.comBlogger121100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3843631.post-1138808326469207222006-02-01T07:32:00.000-08:002006-02-01T07:38:46.480-08:00I'm trying hard to get excited about the First Day of the Month, but a headache interferes, and I keep forgetting whether I've taken aspirin for it, so I keep taking more. At least I think it's more . . .The real problem is that I'm coming down with a cold, something I usually combat with a heavy dose of martinis. Unfortunately, I am out of gin. It's going to be a long weekend. It's only Salmon Pinkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01065492956622280854noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3843631.post-1138744468902438062006-01-31T13:51:00.000-08:002006-01-31T13:54:28.910-08:00Happy news! I found my missing New England Oyster Cracker wrapper. I had given up hope, and when I returned to the place where it had turned up missing it was not to look for it, but to smoke a cigar and drink some wine. You know, the usual front porch activities. But, while sitting there, it came to mind, as things do, and I looked around a bit. It had, apparently, blown out of my book, butSalmon Pinkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01065492956622280854noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3843631.post-1138374457552698592006-01-27T07:02:00.000-08:002006-01-27T07:07:37.560-08:00I lost my souvenir. You know, the New England Oyster Cracker wrapper that I tucked inside my book to remember my trip to Cheddar's restaurant. Last night, I sat on my front porch with a cigar and my book and the souvenir that I had placed inside it for safe-keeping must have blown away. It was quite windy. I did not see it happen, but I can picture it now, or a drawing of it anyway, flitting Salmon Pinkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01065492956622280854noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3843631.post-1138316902767826922006-01-26T14:03:00.000-08:002006-01-26T15:08:22.783-08:00"Cheddar's"Cheddar's is a restaurant chain along the lines of Applebee's or TGI Friday's, though, I suppose, less obnoxious. (I am not sure whether TGI Friday's has an apostrophe or not, to tell you the truth. Are they talking about the day of the week, and lots of them, or is it meant to refer to a person with a funny, most likely fictional, name? I do not know.) The wait staff does not sing, Salmon Pinkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01065492956622280854noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3843631.post-1138228248614920092006-01-25T12:35:00.000-08:002006-01-25T14:30:48.653-08:00Four Things about SeminarsI have valuable advice for you about seminars. It is of limited value, because it is about seminars and not about sex or money, but it is, nonetheless, valuable. Relatively speaking. Anyway.1. Arrive early. There are several reasons for wanting to arrive early, but chief among them is that you want to secure a seat as near to the back of the room as possible. ThisSalmon Pinkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01065492956622280854noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3843631.post-1093871713643005912004-08-30T06:12:00.000-07:002004-08-30T06:15:13.643-07:00I will never run the Boston Marathon. This just occurred to me last night. I had been under the mistaken impression that I could qualify for it by running a marathon in three hours and forty-five minutes, which I've never done before but which is possible. Reasonable, even. Last night, on a lark, I looked it up. In fact, my qualifying time for the Boston Marathon is three hours and twenty Salmon Pinkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01065492956622280854noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3843631.post-1092326101170767982004-08-12T08:49:00.000-07:002004-08-12T08:55:01.170-07:00Flaming Hot Cheetos "You know what? We never get Flaming Hot Cheetos in the vending machines no more." "I know." "One of these days we should jump the guy and ask him why not." "I know. We should." "Because they always sold out real fast. It's not like they weren't popular." "I know." "I just want to know why they don't have them anymore." "I know." "Because I love them. And it's Salmon Pinkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01065492956622280854noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3843631.post-1092236743446922342004-08-11T07:57:00.000-07:002004-08-11T08:05:43.446-07:00Brrrrr..... It sure is cold in here. Or so everyone says. Every day. You'd think they'd get tired of having the same conversation every morning. But they don't. "Is it cold in here?" "It's freezing!" "I'm tempted to put my sweater on!" "Me too!" "I have goose bumps!" "So do I!" It's the same every day. The comparing of goose pimples, the threats of sweaters, the shivering, the Salmon Pinkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01065492956622280854noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3843631.post-1092163078152299882004-08-10T11:37:00.000-07:002004-08-10T11:46:28.853-07:00 This is me, on my way to Las Vegas. The coconut is full of money. Salmon Pinkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01065492956622280854noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3843631.post-1092147107862022952004-08-10T07:08:00.000-07:002004-08-10T07:11:47.863-07:00My vacation officially begins Friday, but I'm already gone. I'm not thinking about that contract I ought to be drafting, or any of a number of trials that I ought to be preparing for. Nope. I'm thinking about laying in the sun by the pool on the roof of the Plaza Hotel sipping martinis brought to me by bikini-clad bimbos with fake boobs. The sweat is stinging my eyes. Vision getting blurry .Salmon Pinkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01065492956622280854noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3843631.post-827066892002-10-08T14:16:00.000-07:002002-10-08T16:03:05.000-07:00It worked!Salmon Pinkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01065492956622280854noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3843631.post-827015502002-10-08T12:23:00.000-07:002002-10-08T12:49:57.000-07:00A Better Squirrel Trap This afternoon, after lunch (a can of chicken noodle soup and a glass of tomato juice), I decided to try out my new squirrel trap. I filled Annie's mouth with acorns, duct-taped her arms to her sides, and hung her upside down from her balcony flag-pole. She hardly struggled. Huh? Oh. Yeah. The acorns are full of poison. Heh. That ought to take care of the little Salmon Pinkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01065492956622280854noreply@blogger.com0